Summary of Normal People
High School: Part One
Normal People by Sally Rooney is a fictional story set in Ireland about a relationship between two teens who struggle with their concept of acting “normal.” Marianne, who comes from a wealthy, abusive family, struggles with her own sense of worthiness and self-esteem. Connell, who lives with his mother and in a small townhouse, struggles with anxiety and social pressures.
In summary, the two navigate the end of High School and form a secret relationship, which ends after Connell asks a popular girl to their version of Prom: the Debs.
College: Part Two
After that, the story jumps to them attending Trinity, and their social lives are suddenly reversed. Connell, who was used to being in the popular circle in High School, now struggles with making friends. Marianne, used to being a “loner” in High School, suddenly falls into the popular circle, dating a college “celebrity” and forming a small circle of friends.
However, the two find each other again to have another secret go of their relationship. In the end, Connell is offered to attend an MFA program in New York, which Marianne promptly tells him to attend.
Order of Events
The Symbolism of the Title: Normal People
Whenever you pick up a novel, think about what catches your eye. Yes, it is a common phrase to not “judge a book by its cover.” However, ultimately, we all do. Not just the cover, but also the title of the book. Therefore, authors are very deliberate with what title they pick for their story to encapsulate either the tone or deliberate symbolic theme seen throughout.
Essentially, the theme of this novel is what Marianne and Connell struggle to understand: are they normal like the people around them? The question in itself is very paradoxical, as everyone during this stage of life struggles with who they are, masking parts of their identity to fit in.
Being “normal” is quite literally the belief that you have found yourself unapologetically, loving even the rough edges of what makes you who you are, and living the life you desire.
Similar to most coming-of-age books, the characters often struggle with feeling accepted among their peers and fitting in. In consequence, the same goes with Connell and Marianne as they journey through what makes them normal or what doesn’t.
Connell
“Connell wished he knew how other people conducted their private lives, so that he could copy from example.”
At the start of the novel, Connell is in the popular social circle at school, seemingly “normal.” He is the leader of the football team and has a large circle of friends. However, he struggles with his identity and his emotions, constantly having difficulty understanding exactly who he is/what he feels.
Rooney writes her characters by including their stream of consciousness. Connell struggles with anxiety that only increases once he starts seeing Marianne. Fundamentally, he thinks his whole friend group will disappear if they found out about their relationship since she is not “normal” to them.
He wishes to feel normal, in the sense that he knows who he is and isn’t trying to be a multitude of characters to fit in. In college, this identity crisis grows worse when he struggles to make new friends.
Anxiety, according to the American Psychological Association, is an emotion characterized as,
“tension in which an individual anticipates impending danger, catastrophe, or misfortune.”
Connell himself understands that something is not quite normal with him. Several times, he gets panic attacks, which lead to shortness of breath or even vomiting. Primarily, these attacks occur when his friends seem to know about his secret relationship with Marianne, or he is at risk of losing her.
Connell spends a lot of his free time reading as opposed to tireless social excursions. He only feels “normal” when he is with Marianne, who is the sole person with whom he has effortless conversations.
Marianne
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, says Marianne. I don’t know why I can’t be like normal people.”
Similarly, Marianne has always thought of herself as abnormal. In High School, she remained a loner with no friends. She spent her time reading history and current events.
She struggles with self-worth from her upbringing, and while having no social circle to rely on, she sees those who do as normal. In college, despite having new friends and partners, she realizes she only wants to be around Connell, who always brings out her authentic self.
Rooney constantly has her stream of consciousness replay these ideas of what makes other people normal. Perhaps, they simply don’t understand that the great insecurities they have should cripple them from having what they desire.
Rob
“Nothing had meant more to Rob than the approval of others; to be thought well of, to be a person of status. He would have betrayed any confidence, any kindness, for the promise of social acceptance.”
An important character to include with this idea of being normal and struggling to act in a way that will help you fit in is Connell’s High School friend, Rob.
At first glance, Rob is in a popular circle of friends, and he bullies others. In several cases, he makes fun of Marianne for being a social outcast. He also pokes fun at Connell for the idea that he could be seeing her secretly.
Rob laughs when Marianne is sexually assaulted at a fundraising event. He always has snide remarks about everyone. At the Debs, Rob even shows his other mates naked photos of his girlfriend to try and gain their approval.
After High School, we learn that Rob had killed himself. He had been drinking heavily for weeks and was found dead in a body of water.
Rob had also deeply struggled with his idea of being normal. He bullied others, trying to put them down in others’ eyes to keep his social status. He tried to act normally by being overly concerned with how others felt about him, acting out inappropriately to gain their approval.
Fundamentally, his mental state only worsened after High School, not having any proof that he had love or approval from others. He, too, was so concerned about appearing normal that he coped by bullying, leading to his accidental suicide.
Social Class
Primarily, another overlapping theme in this novel is how social class affects young adults trying to seem normal to their peers. Marianne comes from a wealthy, abusive family, whereas Connell comes from a family composed of a poor yet loving single mother.
Marianne
Marianne has a quite horrific home life, which affects how normal she feels. Her father has passed away. Her mother and brother torment her.
- Her mother is quite traditional, opposing Marianne’s well-read Liberal ideas.
- Her brother is snobby and bullies Marianne for not having friends. He is quite insecure, too, and her intelligence emasculates him. When he is unkind to his sister, their mother always sides with him.
- There is even a point at which her brother breaks her nose, to which he responds with a threat that she shouldn’t tell their mother rather than offer her an apology.
- We learn later that Marianne’s father used to hit his mother and herself.
Despite having wealth, living in a mansion, and being able to afford University and housing easily, Marianne struggles with her identity and feelings of self-worth.
Connell
On the opposite side of the spectrum of normality is Connell. He comes from a poor family, raised by a single parent who loves him. His mother is a cleaner who is actually hired to work at Marianne’s house throughout their time in High School.
- Despite struggling with paying for school and housing, Connell never felt unseen by his own family. He and his mother are quite happy together.
- Connell works in the summer and throughout his college years.
- When he loses a job and realizes he has to live at home during the summer, he sheepishly shies away from asking to move in with Marianne, as they are seeing each other.
- Connell brings up this uncomfortable dynamic with Marianne occasionally. He feels abnormal for an unavoidable struggle he has, which she couldn’t understand.
- As opposed to the pressures of having acceptance from his family, he is under a lot of pressure to work harder than Marianne to afford the same life.
This decision to move back home leads to turmoil in their relationship in college. Marianne ends up dating a sadist whom she thinks she deserves as her response.
Attachment Styles
You can easily see how both characters’ upbringing leads to their behavior towards their relationships.
Marianne
Starting with Marianne, she simply doesn’t believe she is worthy of healthy love. She describes these moments in her childhood of abuse by saying she learned the survival mechanism of detaching.
When she and Connell first start going out, he makes it clear that he can not let anyone know about them. Marianne replies, “No one has to know.”
Unworthy of Healthy Love
Connell’s friends make horrific jokes at her. Even in a case of her getting assaulted, they laugh at her and make it her fault for not being a normal person like them.
Marianne never pushes for Connell to make their relationship public. It is only after Connell asks Rachel, instead of her, to the Debs that she finally detaches from their relationship in High School, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed. She even leaves school, studying at home and never going out until graduation.
In College, despite making friends and new public relationships, none of them serve her. Some of her friends lash out at her. Her partners get worse and worse, more physically violent than the last, adding to her emotional abuse and lack of boundaries.
Results from Childhood Abuse
According to Ebsco’s article “Psychological Abuse” the result of coming from an abusive childhood leads the adult child to
“take the abuse to heart and accept blame for it, creating feelings of inadequacy.”
The adult can struggle with feelings of self-worth or even self-loathing, commonly falling into bouts of depression.
Marianne explores these horrific doubts through her relationships, which she ultimately feels she deserves for not being normal. Starting with Connell, she lets their relationship be a secret. She lets him stay with her despite not speaking up to his friends when they bully her. In conclusion, she allows him to stay with her even though he refuses to acknowledge her at school.
When she’s in college, Marianne dates a man who disagrees with her strong viewpoints and is ultimately embarrassing. She next dates a man whom she tells to choke her and hit her when they are intimate. He does so enthusiastically, finally ordering her to act as a maid to him in social settings. He talks down to her, acting the same way as her brother.
Marianne ends up dating an artist and photographer when she studies abroad in Sweden. He is quite abusive when they are intimate, and she allows him to tie her up and tell her she is worthless.
Her Relationship with Connell
Marianne has always felt normal when with Connell. She has repeatedly mentioned how she wants someone to just tell her what to do, and she will do so. However, she is used to feeling detached when bad things happen. She surrenders to the idea that they simply must break up repeatedly, powerless to change the outcome.
At the end of the novel, she doesn’t argue for Connell to stay with her when he is offered a chance to better his career, despite their connection being clear soulmates.
Connell
“He has sincerely wanted to die, but he has never sincerely wanted Marianne to forget about him. That’s the only part of himself he wants to protect, the part that exists inside her. ”
As you know, Connell struggles with social anxiety, constantly confused about how to approach social settings, act normally, and be himself. He feels anxiety about how other people see him. He only feels at peace with Marianne, who doesn’t expect him to be normal, but rather to be himself.
Family Life
By coming from a small family and a popular social group, Connell hasn’t needed to discover the parts of his personality he likes and doesn’t, unlike with Marianne.
As a result, he is never quite able to put a finger on what he is feeling in the moment. Therefore, he takes months to understand that what he had done to Marianne in High School was horrific. Also, it takes longer for him to fight for their relationship after she courageously asks to become part of his life again.
Repairing their Relationship
In college, unable to address Marianne about his deep love for her, he falls into a deep depression while they both see other people. He struggles with feelings of self-worth and suicidal thoughts, feeling as far away from normal then ever.
Due to this, he takes ages to bring up situations that could cause conflict with Marianne. For example, when he asked Rachel to the Debs instead of her, or when he needed a place to stay.
Once he is offered a spot in an MFA program in New York, he tells Marianne last minute. He then explains he would stay if she wished it, finally giving her the chance to speak about her feelings towards him. In response, Marianne, being used to accepting the worst from people, detaches again and pushes for him to go, as if she doesn’t deserve him or has a say in her own happiness again.
Read more about how attachment styles affects your character development in the blog post below.
Conclusion
Marianne and Connell’s crisis about whether they are like normal people symbolizes that they are true soulmates. However, both have issues with self-worth and communication that lead to them missing their chance to ever actually publicly date one another throughout the ENTIRE novel.
Examples:
- It is difficult to say whether Marianne has finally accepted her love for Connell by asking to see each other again in College or whether this was done with masochistic intentions.
- Both seem to struggle with ideas of self-worth and their belief that they aren’t normal and never will be.
- However, if anything, their view of not being normal draws them together more, but they are still unable to accept one another publicly.
- Abnormality makes their relationship much more than a habitual fling, but actually, two soul mates magnetically draw to each other, no matter what phase of life they are in.
- When you think about it further, you can recognize that Sally Rooney purposely displayed that even those around the couple who are their idea of normality also struggle with self-worth, mental health, and social pressures.
Recommendations
Normal People is a highly influential social commentary and, quite confidently, the next modern classic. It has become a short show series and gained recognition for its relatable themes of coming of age, social pressures, mental health struggles, and the idea that you can’t allow for happiness in your life unless you are viewed as normal.
While present events occur, there are additional interruptions to the past to give the reader a stronger sense of what each character is thinking.
Highly recommend this novel to everybody who wishes for a fast-paced read and a deeply depressing central theme. The book is written in both characters’ stream of consciousness through a third-person limited narration.
Read more about narrative styles in the blog post below.
Sally Rooney Books
Other books that are intense social commentaries about relationships, class, and mental health by Sally Rooney are:
- Conversations with Friends
- Beautiful World, Where are you
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